Thursday, February 14, 2008

so who am i? seriously? is my sense of self real or is based on dominant perspective? or do i see myself as other see me? or what? I think i need to make a list of things that i think i possess. good and bad an ask the people around me if i'm right. hopefully this will leave me feeling less burdened.

i think i'm smart. primirarily. in the sense, i know that i can survive in the world on my on. yes it will be hard, because i've been pampered much by my family, but i'll get used to it. i dont think anybody can get away by cheating me. also, culturally, i think i'm quick and "intelligent". "Intelligent" to do okay in my course or to know internally that the reaosn why i'm not doing to so well is because i'm not making the effort. Smart enough to run an extra curricular society. "Intelligent" enough to manage writing 3 articles a day and feel not so burdened. smart enough to contribute to a group discussion that is not particular to science or politics, or sports.

i think i'm pretty. yes, cellulite and all. i also think i have certain things many people don't. like a very soothing voice. a good ear for music. am not tone deaf. am a good singer. i think i'm very adjusting. i can listen to people for hours and be genuinely interested in what they have to say, but i'll also want to contribute if there's a discussion. i think i can give good advices. i think i'm level headed and practical. i dont do things at impulsivly, but if its a huge thing, i think about the pros and cons and if its a small thing i try not to let it effect me.

fine, sometimes i feel like trash, but i do have a consistent healthy sense of self. i know that certain things are worth appreciation in me, and no matter what people might thinkn those things never change. i thinkim very likable and assertive. somewhere, after a point it doesnt matter to me what people think about me. i like helping other people to the best i can. it gives me a sense of satisfaction. i'm relatively moral, the principles i make for myself, most of times i dont supercede them.

okay, now the bad parts. even though i'm fairly calm, i'm very very impatient. i can get very pushy and naggy when things dont work out my way. and at times, border irritation.... and i can get very hyper about certain events of my life. and want to discuss it till eternity, till my jaws dont ache, and i still wont have a satisfactory answer. i can get SUPER moody and even question the existing concreteness in my life then. i can get snappy, cranky and OVER-CRITICAL to an extent of killing someone, at times. and i'm also a freak who accepts challenges the way nobody does. i like them in some weird obscene way. and might do anything to solve/take them up.

well, thats me. uncensored:D