And then, I realise that no matter how hard I work, It'll never be good enough because my overall marks are sucky. Then my bathroom bulb fuses. And the net stops working. Plus, my Mp3's one year guarentee is getting over, so its getting suckier by the day. And most of all, everybody, EVERYONE around me is leaving all their extra curricular so they can do well this year, and I'm just taking a big fat risk.
And then i get the feeling that I'm not suited for my course. All of a sudden. I know I'm fairly good, but I don't want to be JUST good. I want to kick ass. But how the fuck am I supposed to manage 3rd year English literature, while working in a full time students newspaper plus a wetern music choir. I can't keave either because choir is my one and only extre curricular without which I'll turn very grouchy and sulky. In any case, It's one of those things you know you can never ever quit. And the newspaper is the only thing that is helping me get through the course I want in future since it qualifies as work ex. Plus I love working there. The work enviornment is like a dream come true :)
Urgh, I hate this. I hate being mediocre, I hate not knowing what to do. I've always ALWAYS hated being average. What do i do? Can I manage three things at a time and afford the risk?(scribblers should know how hard 3rd year is.)
This sucks. I'm in such a slimy stinky undecided mess.
Okay good things.
- Went shopping, bought FAB stuff. As in fabulous stuff :)
- Am making a movie on the female gaze, at my literary society fest. Something I'm so passionate about.
- Had the best time ever at Sh's birthday. We got drunk, and ate and danced, and did some bi-sexual stuff :D okay okay, kidding, but we were close. Best of all, she gave us t-shirts as a return gift. Aww, I love my friends.
P.s- I still need to resolve my mess. Suggestions...please.