so how hard is it for people to understand that sometimes i would like to be left alone? can i not be moody? am i the only one who's supposed to remain calm and sane throughout MY BLOODY LIFE? urrrgh. i know we're a mismatch but she's a good friend of mine. best friend.. no. and i dont know how to tell her that. and she's always gotten me all wrong. she's a really good freind of mine but sometimes she gets on my nerves. a lot of times actually.

and the only way is to0 teach her that I CAN FRIGGIN BE MOODY MYSELF. and no matter what she does she hs to learn that soemtimes being TOO CONCERNED CAN HARM OTHER RELATIONSHIPS. AHEM. I mean how hard is that to get?? how? seriosuly, i need a vacation. im sick of everyone. and with the risk of sounding like a nerd, i want ot start studying. i really do. i find my course interesting and i know i could read and read and never get tired.

okay lets make a list. atleast i'll feel less burdened after this.

1. i need to stick to my study routine. read the texts from start and try and inculcate a stronger critical viewpoint when im reading them.
2. i need to start acting indifferent. in the sense, being overtly hyper about certain things will get me nowhere, and im bloody stupid to even then be hyper about it.
3. after realising that calmly dealing with certain things, and certain, ahem, hyperactive people actually turn out better, i should do that more often. and realize that this confusion is a result of my time. hence not leave any time to be free.
4. try and not loose my temper. its at the peak i know. but there's nothing i can do but count ten.
5. deal with juniors and zephyr in general with calmness and libeartion. but dont stop being firm and throwing authority wherever necesary.
6. IT IS OKAY TO WANT TO DISTANCE YOURSELF FROM FRIENDS. AND THOSE WHO DONT UNDERSTAND THAT, ASK THEM TO FUCK OFF.

PHEW. apart from that, sent my application to Viewspaper, hopefully this will be a good learning experience. and hopefully my story will come up tomorrow on the site. and hopefully i will want to write in the future. and write better. REMEMBER: you are an okay writer. you're a good person. you're a very good singer. you're a good student and child. you're also a looser who peps yourself.