Saturday, February 2, 2008

naggy naggy naggy!!!!!!!!! i hate how things are going and more because im making them suck, not because they naturally suck!! urgggh. it this what my life's about reallly? getting moody, pissed and being HORRIBLY low on self esteem to the point of being obsessive. ONE ruddy comlpiment and i forget everything and one look at something i dislike or the SMALLEST unpleasant thing and i start obsessing ABOUT IT. I HATE WHEN PEOPLE DONT TAKE ME SERIOUSLY. i hate feeling a little teensy bit, if you will, inferior, (p.s- not implicated by the person in question at all but imagined by yours truly) compared to certain people.

URRRRGGH. i think i need a vacation. i really think i need to be away from EVERYONE. and the only solution available for the *thing* is to find a boyfriend, or something worthwhile to grab my attention. i guess this is just pay back time for all those moments of putting too much into it. in the sense, now it no longer what it was when it started but more about over analysing because of other instances, i.e- me feeling like im too naggy. i think i've to start not caring. ive to start actually feeling indifferent. thank god i have people around me like me so its not all bad, infact its not hat bad at all, the only solution is to BE INDIFFERENT. thigns will happen the way they need too. nothing i do will change whats meant to happen anyway.

sigh.