Im in a veryyy grey mood today.. and surprisingly not the depressing grey but the "wtf, i like this colour to hell with its connotations!" kind of grey!! My mum's pissed of with for being online perpetually but somehow i can always find something to do.. i have no idea why im justifying everything i say, but wihout souding downright depressed, i feel kinda inferior today, after giving a thought to what i actually want to do, later on. i RREAAAAALLLLLYYY want to move out and stay on my own, and i know its going to hard becoz im probly used to the pampering but i want to experience it. But the question remains, what do i want to do?? its like a nagging irritating thought that just refuses to get out off ur back, i know the field i want to enter but ask me details i'll be like whaaaaaaaaaa??? and i know i can write, okay, i refuse to be modest, this is my blog after all, i know im articulate, i write good enough, when was just "good" enough??? I guess after giving it a loonngg thought i realised that im good at discussing trivial things untill they become something i start thinking about and then hours later feel like a dumbfuck for wasting so much time on it. so i dont know about Print Journo, t.v journo sounds good, but ha, welll, the choice isnt mine, i dont know what my aptitude consists off. By far the only people who think i write well are me, um, my family(i know u cant count them, n yes, thats ridicolous, shut up.) and a few people here and there who like few pieces that ive written. But on the contrary many people will vouch for me being articulate. I dont know, somehow im not convinced that i will be good in these fields. And somehow i have to be if not the best, pretty darn good at what im doing, which is why i am not publisising my vocal chords and pursuing it as a hobby whilst in college, and i so cannot be philosophical, i sound like an idiot when that feeling comes upon me. So what should i do?? back to square one. I knew i was good at psychology and i regret not realising this in school, but instead then i just wanted to do psychology as a course becoz it sounded good, n now i've realised that i would have been "pretty darn good" at it, plz dont ask me how.
I was just lookin thru a few pictures of mine and i realised that along with being quite photegenic(just in that mood), photography is also something i could think of doing... :) hhaahaha, look at me, acting as if i have it all on a platter. Well, in my defence i was just choosing, ofcourse i'll work hard towards it once i make my mind up.
I want to go on a vacation, not with my parents!! i havent been on an independant vacation till date!! except when my mum would send me to a relatives place becoz of reasons unknown to me. Me n Aditi r working on it though. We're trying to come up with something convincing so our parents cant refuse!
"we'll make them an offer they cant refuse."
(Swetha, stop getting philosophical!!!!)