Saturday, March 2, 2013

You're a fickle, fickle man. That's how you've turned my life around since December, stupid.

Because everything that you are, I was. The bi-polar tendencies, the fickle emotions, the hot-cold-yes-nos, the arrogance/narcissism that only really showed bits of one's insecurites - all of it.

I was the centre of whoever's world. They would have to tip-toe around me, because I wouldn't know when my mind would change. Deep down, somewhere, I've always been this pleasant, nice person. But I had to walk over many people to reach here.

With you, I'm just naturally adult. I'm easy, understanding and just too nice. It scares the fucking daylights out of me - I wonder if you'll find it all too easy to take for granted. I wonder if I'll bore you soon enough, because I don't make you run on your toes.

But this is me. I don't care if people are late, and I never give them grief for making me wait. If someone breaks my camera, I don't freak out. I don't get cranky. I immediately switch to pacifying the hyperventilating person who broke my camera. I understand, I always do.

Sure, I can be a brat. I want everything to go my way - but here's the scary part. You make me swallow that. Maybe there's room for only one brat between the two of us. Right now, I don't mind letting you be one.

You've turned my life around by this role-reversal. I don't know if I this is permanent, I don't know how long this is going to last. I remember you saying that day in the car (about an incident that must not be written about) that if not for anything, you'll remain special for giving me a story I can tell me kids.

I know I make you happy and we have so much chemistry. But I really, REALLY don't know where this is leading to. So in case it all turns upside down again (because one really never knows with you) - this is why you'll remain special. Because, as the cliche goes, there's a side of me that you brought out.

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