Wednesday, January 11, 2012

If I hear one more girl going, "Awwleeee so cute!" behind my ass I will strangle her.

A writer's narrating his script to us (my team) and I'm busy typing away. He thinks I'm diligently making notes and I think he believes I'm the silent, observant one who opens her mouth once in a while to say something.

In actuality I think he's full of shit. Nothing against him, just his tobacco stained teeth are annoying me. I made a mistake in the morning; the rare chance I had to take on some responsibility and I didn't carry it through. Then we move through the regular drill - why am I here. what am I doing in this job. why can't I leave now. what am I going to do after moving anyway?

I am fighting with my weight everyday. Everyday there's this full fledged battle in my head about how a small piece of butterscotch cake (it's either that or some ghee-soaked sweet, or chocolate or mayo-ed sandwiches) will effect my low-carb, low-fat diet. How I can salvage it, and if there are fatter women around me who don't care what they eat, why should I?

I don't understand the opposite sex. I don't know if I ever want to or now that I have an inkling, I am worried I may never have a normal relationship with men (also includes me not knowing what to do when normal presents itself) - this is at it's dysfunctional best. It owes a whole new post, so let's not dig any deeper here.

My colleague is having troubles with a courier company. They refuse to give deliver her credit card and the more she argues with customer care, the more I want to seep through the receiver and shoot the person she's talking to.

I want to write nicer things, I want to be able to visit this site and write also when I feel happy and blissful and supercool. I want to believe that at 23, I have a world to go through and I don't need to be the master of everything, have all relationships down to a pat, and more so it's okay to be broke, goofy and confused.

Neurotic? I think I can do without being that though.

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