Blocking out actually helps. I can't say that the absolute indifference which I seek has come. But I can see it floating around, not touching me. I need to convert it into the concrete so I can pocket it. And flaunt it.
It's about not expecting. Not expecting people to awaken to the possibility that they owe me an apology. Not expecting people to melt because I am/was hurt. Not expecting people to care about my feelings. Not expecting people to always behave the way I would love them to behave. Not expecting from people in general.
Somewhere I wish this came to me earlier. And I have immense respect for people who adopted this attitude much earlier. Guess I had to learn the hard way :)
Immense love for those who stuck it out. Who inspite of this cynical wave, instill faith in me that the world is not a bad place after all. I guess I was too late in the blocking out process. But there are some cliches I am willing to hold onto. Love and Faith. I am thankful I have more than enough of that coming my way.
I regret the moments where I would blind out to those, and focus only on the general low-ness that centered me. This pessimism will go away, soon. I promise.
A promise to those people who throw me all the love and faith in world. I love you.