A professor of mine today woke me up in his unusually boring class with this statement.

"Boys, I'm telling you, it's very hard to understand a woman. You'll take a lifetime, only to realize they are mysterious. I personally think it's a gift of god." 

I sprang up, yelling, "SEXIST".

Whattoo do. The world is neatly divided into more patriarchal men, and less patriarchal men.

Feminists can go around bra burning in the name of propaganda, women like me can strive to break stereotypes, be it feminist or just female centric, and nothing will work, until the men don't bury all the notions there ever existed about women, ranging from what our grandparents preached to what children are being taught in the name of education.

P.s- exceptions are always around. There are many men who don't fall in this category, and many women who don't understand the meaning of a feministic outlook. 

P.p.s- Don't even get me started on the misinterpretation of religion wrt inequality... or the "role of women".

"Sing out, Sing out, Silence only eats us up inside"
Lifeboats, Snow Patrol.

I was telling a friend yesterday, that inspite of a fluctuating self esteem, most people end up knowing what they deserve- atleast at the age of 21. For all those people who follow my blog, (first of all, where art thou?) y'all should know that I don't title my blogs. But for the first time, I think I have a post that is uni-dimensional. Basic gist- I am tired of constantly proving my self worth.

And I know this is when the whole proving yourself begins, but I don't just mean this professionally. I mean in with regard to every sphere of my life. I was mentioning to the same friend yesterday how I am so petrified that I'll sell myself short sometime because I'll give up trying to find what I truly deserve.

My problem is, I am tired of telling myself to hang in there and wait for the right opportunities to march along because I most definitely deserve them. I'm not impatient, and I have gotten many opportunities but for some sorry-ass reason they just don't fit.

I am tired of being cryptic. Why must I constantly be pep-talking myself into believeing that the best is yet to come, inspite of a whole world of things that have already come and gone?
Why must I settle, compromise or adjust at all times?
It's time for me to be spoiled, ya hear me?
S.P.O.I.L.T R.O.T.T.E.N

Two thoughts that passed my mind in a very boring class.

• Is non-fiction actually more real or more credible, if it is actually a recreation? Even in a theory form, it remains a revival of a experience or an innovation that was registered at an earlier time. Doesn't that make it lose it's authenticity and hence why is non fiction considered a better genre than fiction, which honestly claims to be thought about and created?
• Existential agnosticism: Is an existential angst only a primed, or a heavily influenced state of being? Or is it the truth, the "horror" (Kurtz, The Heart of Darkness) of existence?

One week into Pune.

Wow there are so many things to update and say, I don't know where to start. Can't I just finish it with: Pune is fantabulous but it comes with a baggage of responsibility.. ? I have newfound respect for anyone who moves out of their comfortable parental home to make it on their own. It's all a romantic notion after all. You need to witness it firsthand to know what you've gotten yourself into.

I'm growing up yet again. Living alone is a lot harder than I thought. There are times when I want to just get up and form a jazz band of my own and ask everyone here to stick it up there's. On the other hand, I'm thinking every person has to go through this once in their lives. 

I feel like a different person almost, writing from a room that i probably never saw 3 months ago. Oh what the hell. It's not as bad as i'm making it to be. It's actually fun. And I will definitely look back at this and smile.

One more thing: I can still pull a madeliene peyroux anytime I want. So this is out of the box :) I am ze proud of myself, almost :)

*sings out LOUD*