Boys/Men/Male species.

Are.

Weird.


So, so, so, very WEIRD.

Healthy sense of self, I miss you.

You can call this one of my lowest phases. I don't have reasons, really.

Turbulences. Extreme emotions.

Too much pressure.

P.s- I am not being petty. Maybe a little repetitive. And a little bit annoying with my mood shifts to people around me. I don't care. I'm not changing so that people can respect me, or think I'm attractive. I don't care what people think of me, really. I don't. I'm much more mature than that. I just need a little consistency here. That's all.

How do I feel right now? I don't know really. I've just been let into a really.. weird piece of news. Which I frankly was better off not knowing. I can also safely say that about what was revealed to me last saturday.
Sigh. I'm tired. Not metaphorically wrt the eventful weekend and what followed but more so because I'm physically exerting myself too much. Anyway the main reason behind this post was to jot down the reasons why I need the upper hand back.

• Because I don't even feel requisitely.. I mean not enough. I might have put the impression across because I liked where things were going, the bitch that I am, and I know it's always easier to say this, But for once I actually mean it- In retrospect, I donot feel passionately about this. It was just a "oooh, fun, lets see where this heads" You're not supposed to feel like this about a thing that started off like that in the firts place, right?
• I'm perfectly happy with my life right now. The weekend was enough to pull me back into my senses, about how I am suited for the game :) I could do with theattention alright but not to point where I end up waiting for nothing really. I don't care about the reasons, the excuses blah blah. If it has to happen, it will. Why should I be focusing specifically on only that part of the day? I have a life. And a rather good one. I dont need more than one locii. Which right now is my internal exams in january.
• I heard nasty rumours :D :D I could believe them, but I don't want to. I'm not the kind. I dont have anything against the person, whatever the reason behind the negligence may be. I should just care this much. And my initial reaction was granted because it happens to everyone. But I guess from now on it's going to be different. I'm not spiteful or anything. Call ya msg aayega, toh I'll pick up and everything, I just won't wait.

Moral- I won't wait.

I won't.

*croons*
I want you.
I want you so ba-a-a-d.
I want you-u-u-u-u-u.
I want you ba-a-a-d, It's driving me mad, its driving me... ma-a-a-a-d.

I wonder what I would do without The Beatles. I was just discussing with a friend about the 5 bands or artists that have changed my life or have influenced me to a point of change.

1. Beatles
2. Dave Matthews Band
3. Led Zepellin
4. Coldplay
5. Queen

I cannot describe what the divine melody of the aformentioned does to me. And this is not something new, I'm often at a loss of words or the ability to articulate how it makes me feel. I usually don't bother beause I end up most definitely sounding a tad bit cliched. Oh, but what the hell. I needed to pen down this moment of awe and inspiration.

Three things. I wish I could do three things with my life, which i think are futile but I would a right hand to give a try. I am too much a chicken to venture. I know I won't.

1. Do my masters in the Perfomorming Arts. Preferably Carnatic music.
2. Join Broadway. It'll entail two of my most favorite things- Theatre and Music. Singing while you're acting. Sigh.
3. Take up singing professionally. Double sigh.

*sings LOUDLY*

Very superstitioussss, writings on the waaaall,

Very superstitiou-u-s, ladders 'bout to fall,

Thirteen month old baby-y-y-y, broke the lookin glass

Seven years of baaaad luck, the good things in your past.

When you believe in things that you dont understaaaand,

Then you suffer-r-r-r,

Superstition, aint the way... ay-ay-ay.

(heart heart heart heart!!!!)

• Exams in a month.
• Freaking out.
• Leaving work :(
• Writers block.
• Lingerie Shopping!

Nothing more to write. Am moving between extreme emotions everyday.

Blah.

I think I'm going to create a name for the female version of the absolutely patriarchal use of the word "casanova". No you losers, its not called "slut". I know technically the name is based on a man who was.. rather promiscuous, but hey there has got to be female version too, right?

Speaking of which, why is it that women cannot be promiscuous, or say, interested in a variety or men, or a large number of men and not be termed "cool" ? I know, it's an age old debate, but I find myself in that position and I will personally punch anyone who shows me the eyebrow.

Okay, I found the word.
Cleopatra. (shoot yourself, those who don't get the obvious reference)

Henceforth, any woman, who believes in, say, polygamy... or has interest in mutiple men, or say, makes it a point to notice men wherever she goes, is a Cleopatra.

YAY :D