It has been the closest to "love" that I've felt... yes, me. Desperately looking for conventional standards of love, because I know there's a reason why they call it amazing. Among all this looking, I choose to ignore what you bring to me. It's undefinable, yet I'm not perturbed.
You'll never know. Or we'll never discuss it.
This is just to remind me, 20 years later, when I have everything I yearn for, that you were the only one who made me smile on days when everybody else could easily, chronologically fall into my "I want to kill" list.