Saturday, June 14, 2008

My post is quite opposite to Preeti. Since I just read hers, i just remembered this incident that happened with me over the weekend. More about my weekend at Best friend's place later in the post :)

Its the second night at Best friend's. We're waiting for fictitious and magnetmoron to appear magically on our gtalk list, while cracking some MEAN jokes on gramatically incorrect people and their lingo. Typically us. So we see A online. Its 2 in the morning. A brief intro about A. Warning: this could lead to a few gasps, and well, you've all made horrendous at some point in your life.
So he's this guy who added me on Orkut. We got talking, I got a little attracted to him because he was BRAINY, not intelligent. Well, intelligent, a little yes, but more brainy, really. The whole mind game thing got over in a bit and now we're friends. so most conversations are quite comfortable and not like they used to be, mind games et al.

So we get talking and as usual, my conversation with most guys has some element of fun in it. Even when I talk to almost brother-ish school friends and geeks, its the same. I flirt. period. Its my thing. Yes, I do have a sense of when to flirt and how to flirt, and how much with whom and chioce of words, blah blah, but I can assure you A is someone who I would expect to understand. He's smart enough to not take it the wrong sense. I mean, what i said was hardly flirtatious anyway.

A: i prefer anonymity during chats

me: yeah like anyone's reading this

A: i am, thats all that matters

me: so where's the anonymity btw the both of us
A: i meant, not taking names fr nothing in between.

me: so i should call you by your full name then?

A: no nothing at all. why do u have to call my name, i am here, is that not resounding enough, or should i call and tell u i am here, not my dad

me: why is it such a big thing for me to say your name?

A: its is very pseudo-romantic, and i hate most pseudo things, leave myself
me: you do realise that people use pther people's names while talking to them... its not always romantic.. unless you're deliberately trying to create an atmosphere here! HAHA!
(note: that, is my I-don't-mean-to-sound-like-im-interested-in-you-but-I-flirt-nonetheless kind of way of flirting)

A: dont you laugh, i might as well be doing that.
(note: ???)

the next few lines, we just randomly flirt around, RANDOMLY. Like you would with a friend. Or atleast that is what I thought. And then just when I was about to be proud of the fact that there's one guy out there who doesn't make UNNECESSARY judgements, he goes on to saying this-

A: you sound busy, I'd rather quit than be cursed.

Me: no, no, just water break. what else could I be doing.

A: dunno, maybe watching some porn :)
(note: THE SMILEY. why???)

So there. I refuse to believe i gave out a vibe because that is just bullshit. Or it is? So even random flirting at 2 am means a girl is loose? Its not the end. The next few lines are even more confusing.

me: you crossed a line there.

A: i didnt know cultured girls could not watch some porn, who can talk of being explicit but see sex as taboo...............all apologies, a la cobain

Me: whatever. Im off, bye.

A: oooh. fine, bye.

me: sex is not a taboo, btw.

A: porn is.

And so I just blocked him while he was saying things like : taboo still exists blah blah.
Now the problem is I'm not sure if that was a defensive action or what he really thinks, considering the fact that there was a point when we both knew we were attracted to each other. The point is, why are such judgements made? Can't people take flirting the way its fucking supposed to be received? That was magnetmoron was so much better. Its so much more better to be blunt than presume on the basis of ACTIONS that you have construed on your own little stupid conclusions. Urgh.
Am I overacting? Comment either way.

The weekend otherwise was fun. It's always reallly fun around Best friend. The videos were hilarious, sex and the city is a nice movie. Heard some shocing stuff about magnetmoron, but I guess I'm almost over him. Feeling very very "feminist" now. I could kill.


Zwinky said...

it means all men are horny at night and always cross their line when flirted with. and i dont care if this statement is sexist. and i dont care about being politically correct either. :)

Okie Dokie said...

So correct zwinky! Men.

Drenched said...

I agree with Zwinky.
Also, you never know how a guy perceives you if you are a little "open" or "flirtatious" by nature. I guess that reaction by A was not really shocking. In his mind, something like this must be going - "Oh, she's trying to flirt! She might be easy. I can start the topic of porn. Maybe she'll respond." and so on.
Oh, and don't you just loathe smiley faces with something mean/rude/hurtful in general? Someone I know uses them so much that I have threatened my entire list that if they use them with me, they're so dead.

Drenched said...

By the way, hi! Long time! :-D

pugsieT said...

feminism in the same breath as killing. oops. living up to constructs. A!

B..not all boys think you're easy if you talk at 2 am. (see K) aww. okay i should stop feeling happy.

C...screw it. i cant. *happy*

Okie Dokie said...

Ok here is a more genuine response. These are my personal views. See the only reason why a guy talks to a girl is because at some level he hopes things will work out (to be defined) with her.

As a mature, sensible, smart, cute, handsome, athletic (Oh! Well I am loosing the point here) guy I define 'work out' as 'happily married everafter'. A 'horny' 20 yr old might view 'work out' as a tumble in the hay stack. So pretty much the only reason why a guy talks/comments/blogs etc. is so that things might 'work out'.

So next time don't be offended if a guy asks you questions. If you think it is offensive you can cut him out in the beginning. In the precise case of A by not adding him on your messenger (random Orkut guy).

S said...

first and foremost Pugsie: I said feminist and killing together because I'm aware of the constructs :) Just told you on the phone!

OK: I agree with you with the whole "work out" thing. It depends on how the person is. And that's the hitch. This guy wasn't the horny kind. Don't ask me how I know, I have my reasons.
I don't generally flirt with just anyone, and open up to only people around me, who've shown that they're mature enough to receive it. And I made that conclusion about him long ago, with reasons which Im too lazy to dictate out.
I guess, I was wrong about him.

DRenched: OMG!! yayayayaay!!! finalllyy you're back, I missed you!!
You're all right In a way I guess, but this is A. He's the last person I'd expect to do that. I swear.

Zwinky: All men are horny at 2 am is perfect. We should start being nasty really.
REALLY. or wait. I mean, whatever suits :)
(don't kill me)

You guys... do none of you think he said those thigns because he really believes in the whole taboo subject thing??

pugsieT said...

i think he was bumming round..maybe pushing u to see how far you'd go...hmmm...

Preeti said...

Hmmm interestin...See, my point when i wrote my post was, i hateeee it when guys over-do it...these days, when a guy talks to a girl itself there r people goin ahem ahem and a casual conversation between a guy n a girl is considered to be slighttt signs of maybe...when there is a lil bit of laughin and tlakin, it's like confirmed 100% flirting..that's silly...but cmon its just a conversation..

but the guys i was tlakin abt? r the kinds who makeee an attempt to flirt by bein cheesy...and that post was instigated that day by this really good friend who named me somethig really 'cute' according to him (he's a good friend but i dint like what he was callin me) I unfrotunately cudnt mention that in the blog cuz he reads it :( I dont know what to say!

And this guy A? I think he's probably a nice guy but as everyone above has said, guys tend to read a lil toooo much in between lines and equate it easily to sex...whereas women wud read between the lines and equate it to, like, 'love' or 'relationship' or sometin...

And PLEASE, humbleeee request, dont add ppl thru orkut...however nice they seem...Seriously iv had like LOADZ of experience in my life and a friend's and this online stuff, is way toooo weird...

LONG comment!

Preeti said...

P.S: That first para up there in my comment, makes no sense whatsoever...if u can kindaaaaa understand it - then fine..otherwise please ignore!

skeptic saint said...

huh, may i talk abt the gals in ur feminist post...because a lot of gals dont take flirting in the right way too...

i mean asking for photos every now and then ( as A said, i also prefer anonymity), asking how many girls in gtalk list are online and so on...

i mean cummon, i m nt gonna marry you...theres no need to be that possesive...

and btw, nice blog...blogrolling you...

Ketan said...

Neither Sex nor Porn is taboo.
Whats the big deal?
I am still interpreting what got you mad in the first place. :)

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