Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Sometimes.... you're left with so much awe... you cant express it. With words or actions. Dont get me wrong, its the kind of awe I can only sit back and enjoy, I dont want to become anything or anybody.... I'm just so amazed at how everything that i've felt at one point in my life, i have someoone fortunately, around me to vocalize it... and well :)

Right now, Im very secure about what i am, and what i want to be. What scares me sometimes is the more i think I've grown up enough, i realize that there's so much more growing up i need to do. I dont want to become like anyone here, but i look up to so many different things about so many different people that Im scared about loosing myself somewhere in between there. I love me, i sincerely do. But there's so much more i want to be. And at times i know i cant vocalise all of that, yes i love that flawed part of me too, but sometimes it irritates the shit outta me.

I love how Saumia can talk to anybody, and make everyone's problems hers. I love how she knows how to handle things deep inside, and is very smart inspite of the dumb days she thinks she has and is so warm inspite of knowing the good in her :) I absolutely need to boast about the smallest thing i know is good about me! I love how Swati is so practical and in control of how she feels, it amazes me to see how amazingly simple she is, how the smallest things make her happy while Im whining about the whole world. I love her approach, i really wish i could imbibe it. I love how Street smart Anu is, i love how she can get her work done under any circumstance, i love her dedication and how observant she is. I love the r'ship we share, i've never had that with anyone, and i loooove it!

I love Aditi, period. I cant explain it, and what i like about our r'ship... she's like me sister, i dont need to prove the love, i dont need reassurances, i dont need to keep in touch. She's going to be there, period. What do i say about Aneesa? I've always wanted to be like her.. i've always wanted her advice. I've loved her opinions, i love how she's so warm and amazing, and when one needs to, she'll admitt that she made a mistake...
Shruti... :) she's the reason behind many of my realizations. She literally makes me think. About events in my life and others. Leaving aside the fact that i look upto her, the thing love about her the most is how non-judgemental she is. On one hand you see her opinionated side and on the toher you have her accepting side. Like i've told so many people before... she's me, only 6 years later.
Maneesh.. all i will say is, he's now more a Teacher than anything. I've learnt too many things about life and me from him to term our (non-existent) relationship with anything more or less.

These are the inspirations in my life. Fortunately, most are my best friends! yes, probing on the realization that i have a lot of growing up to do... i also love one more (can you believe?:) thing about me... my realizations come from within... i always know. The trick is how fast i choose to implement it. And this time, i've already started.