.........and you learn from life. sometimes it happens the hard way, sometimes it leaves you with requisite tears in your eyes. but you learn, learn that this is certainly not the worst. you realise that things happen for a reason. you realise. i have. its come the hard way. And im still dealing with it, but recognition plays a very important role in my life, makes me think straight and this is certainly not the worst. actually if you look at it, its a learning experience.

Sometimes, you want to be different. sometimes, you hate the way you are, and love how different a person makes you feel. you love their presence. even if its barely started or happening. And then nature comes in, where you supercede with the feelings, and gloat high up. sometimes you want to believe something so bad that you search for proof or signs. And then that force, pulls you back. its like a reminder, because nobody stays high up, everybody comes down sometime. Some people are lucky enough to stay up there for long enough and some aren't no the basis of right and wrong. maybe, sometimes, you're just not meant to be up there, but you forcibly climb up anyway. Same force brings you down brutally, to teach you that things happen, you can force them. Then you realize that you remain down, and if you're meant to fly up, it'll happen, or it wont. but thats okay, because you've realised that everything happens for your own good. you dont stop trying for a long time. but thats okay too, you will someday. and then the same thing will happen again, but this time you'll be wiser. its called growing up.

this is realisation. this post oozes realisation. i dont give up, i dont lose heart, i remain. and let things happen to me, and continue to learn the relatively right and wrong thing to do, so i can learn from each experience. Which is why what happened didnt effect me too much. I'm okay. more focused you could say. I'm not waiting, yet i am, only to prove to someone up there that i deserve it. i do. and it will happen to me someday. and it will happen voluntarily, not forcibly. And it will be worth it.

not signing off on a postive note, or hopeful note, but on a wiser one.