I just got a job offer!! im being totallyyy optimistic here but atleast i wont have to sulk at home!!! seems good, its a simple job! aah! very excited! my first stint into the big bad world!!! woohooo!!!! so tomorrow i'll be going to the office in gurgaon. okie, im not going to be too excited about it, i dont want to jinx it. im cool.
Though i must admitt, havent felt this good since a loonnggg time.
acha, anyway, gettin to the details of what happened yest. i had another dream. Can u believe it?? i mean, everytime im sure im going good, i have a stupid dream. its like this vicious circle, the lord doesnt want me to move on. but i guess it was also an eye opener. becoz i feel quite differently than i how i felt when i last had a similar dream. dont feel depressed or desirable in any way. Just like i need to fight it off till the end, till im free, and i know im goignt to FEEL free opposed to a feeling of a void, which i always thought i'd feel. i feel great becoz i only felt stupid and desirable for about 5 mins and then i forgot about it. its like i have soooooo many better things to do beside what i once mopped about for daysss, even Aneesa seems to think im partly there. double WOOHOOO!!
i miss college like crazzzzzzzzzzzzyyy, but im glad we have this long break, im doing so many things, and i feel great! didnt go for badminton today early in the morning, was very lethargic...
DAy 5- gorged on mughlai food yest n today, god, i literally threw food into me, delicious food mind u, so i've come to the conclusion that i not following the fitness regime on weekends, will work out, but eat as well. am waiting for the interview tomorrow, have totally decided what im gonna wear. Yest was a good day, was supposed to go for "the big fight" but it got cancelled becoz of the rain, but we out for dinner and good dinner, im thinking i might've put on 3 kgs yest alone!
p.s- this is a poem written by a friend of mine, n though i havent asked for her permission to put it up publically, its somethin that insipired me and i loove it!
BIts of august
The dingy light in my one room shack
flashes in spurts like a camera on vacation.
The table with a leg shorter has my favourite book for support underneath.
My most comfortable couch now has been worn
with the tosses and turns given any August night.
Have you seen the damage, did you see what you do?
Don't play darling, its all such a gamble, I'll send the bill to you.
In it I have listed the expenses occured
which can be noticed when you enter my shack.
The empty glass, the dysfunctional pen,the diary with no meetings or important dates
no numbers, no people, moth eaten by gloom.
My dog refuses to walk with me now
it thinks it belongs to you.
I've tried, but its on the street somewhere
looking for home, looking for you.
Please pay for the television that doesnt want to work
the cheap perfume that doesnt smell like anything no matter how much I try
please pay for all these things that love you more
though they started out being mine.
Dont pay for me, I'll pay myself, it splits half-way
just like on our first date.
This darkness is maddening, dense and deep
solitude pricking and burning, but they belong to me.
It's their shoulder I have to rest my head on
It's their lap on which I quietly cry.
But these bits of you cant escape me either
every single time the light bulb flickers and flashes.
Capturing my emotion in a single frame to be memorised forever
when in my dinner I find bits of August
and the cheap perfume begins to smell of you.
copyright "shruti rao"