Tuesday, February 16, 2010

I wish there were someone like John Keating from Dead Poets Society around here to scare away the reigning under confidence that builds its fence around me. For me the movie is less about mainstream conformity and more about inspiration. About romance, and how underrated the concept of romance is. I don't mean romance as red beating hearts romance, but everything romantic. Romantic verse, and romantic art has always inspired me with it's forthright nature of drama and extravagance, and more so, made me realize how much a fool you seem when you show interest in it. I clearly remember holding back my admiration for the romantics back in college.

It's funny and a little pathetic, how I need external influences to drive the course of my confidence. I hate admitting to it mostly, but I have a fluctuating self esteem. Sue me. I need external influences to inspire me, boost my confidence, and I do spend a lot of time having those weird talk-to-yourself pep talks, but they hardly work.

It's like my mind is this whirlpool of thoughts. And I have to actively stop myself from running into the drama around the negatives. These negatives. What to do with them. I always thought I was a realist. When did I turn into a negative person? And what always plays on my mind is how I can stop being one.

Somehow, It feels like all of it is connected. I know the confidence, faith and positivity can come around if I stop THINKING so goddamn much. I should, no?

12 comments:

Zwikie said...

yoga. And meditation. Are the answers. In tune with thyself. Breath in, breath out. "Don't you feel so positively positive? " ;)

barbarita said...

Sounds like you are just like most people.... Except most of us don't show our insecurities... That's something I've always wondered about.
If we all feel insecure and unsure of ourselves so often, why do we go to such extremes to hide it?? Why not just admit it and move on?? It always makes me feel better when I'm going down that road to see there are other people who I look up to and whom I trust and like that feel the same.
Believe me, they do!

Sallie said...

It's fun being a hopeless romantic. Just go with it. :)

Anonymous said...

Zwikie: Haha

Barbarita: You have a valid point. I guess acceptance is as best as it gets :)

Sallie: It IS fun :D

S

Anonymous said...

Zwikie: Haha

Barbarita: You have a valid point. I guess acceptance is as best as it gets :)

Sallie: It IS fun :D

S

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The little wanderer said...

I agree. If everyone just had someone like Mr. John Keating, then the world would just be a whole lot...deeper. Less trivial and superficial. But I guess the lack of John Keatings make the two or three of them so wonderful.

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