Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Dear Miss 5'10

We've been friends for 6 years now. Needless to say, I love you. You know me best, or I think you do. We've had our memories, our share of tears, our fights. Many think our friendship is successful because we know how to deal with each other, we know exactly what to say, what to do. Maybe you are one of my best friends. And I say that because I have grown up with you. Everytime we have a fight, I try to focus on the postive side of our friendship, and how people envy it. We haven't had a fight, I just realized that you've been taking me for granted.

It's hard for me to tell you this, because I know how opinionated you are. I wonder If you'd see things the way I do. I dont approve of F. Not because I think he's too good, but because I think he's fake and there's a very huge possibility that he'll behave on the other extreme, and this is not the first time you've come across a person like him. I want to warn you everytime but you never give me the chance, you're too convinced. I don't like A. I don't like how his friendship with you is very superficial. But what I hate more is that you still don't and you never have stood up for me.

I keep telling everyone that I can your company for only some time. I think I have our friendship all sorted out. I think I know how to deal with you, But now I don't know. You haven't bothered to find out details of my life. You haven't seemed interested when I told you anyway. And you do otherwise, with your stupid friends, who I also think as very temporary. I can't say Im irritated, I think its more than that. There are phases for how I feel about you. Sometimes i love you too much, sometimes I can't stand you. Maybe this is a phase, but this time Its gone too far. Last night I didn't feel like i could even speak properly. Right now, I probably never want to talk to you again. Im cringing, and I hate you.

But you know I can't. You know I can never truly hate you. If only you'd give me the fucking space to say what I want to you. Its not that Im afraid, your response is so predictable I can't let myself go through it anymore. I think Im going to let you live in your rose tinted world, where your opinions only exist, and you think that the world is interested in pampering you and listening to you. I can't see you fall, and you've never listened to me enough to come back to reality because of me. Hopefully, it'll happen soon. Hopefully it won't be too hard on you. I can't guarentee me being there then, but you should know I was with you and I cared about you at some point.

Me.

12 comments:

V said...

time for some jaigermaister.

OK said...

Quick question. How do you know you are not the opinionated one here? How do you know you are correct and 5'10 is wrong?

-The Sensible

Drenched said...

I agree with Ok.
And secondly, whatever I've realised till now is that you can't really force your opinions on your friends, least of all when it concerns the person they're dating or the other people they're befriending. You talked about space. Maybe she needs it too. But then, I'm just making an observation based on this one letter. Maybe it's all very different in reality.

Swetha said...

See... all that I've written is something I'd really like to tell her, but I cant get myself to because she doesn't take it seriously. She is my best friend.. and at the end of the day I dont want to see her fall. I know her, thats why I've written that. LIke i said in the end, someday She'll realize.

Yeah, I didn't want to discuss this on blogger :D Its a complicated looooonng vicious cycle thing. Treat it as a Vent :)

OK said...

@drenched: So you agree I am sensible. Good. You are coming along nicely. We should be in a position to spring you on some decent people in a few months.

V said...

Oh you were talking about a friend in your post? i thought you were having a difference in opinion with your alter ego. hence, the jaigermaister comment.

only after i read other comments, i realized you actually have something to say to your friend and you can't. if she's your best friend, can't you tell her whatever the hell you want to? you don't have to force it down her throat but if she sees half as much sense in your thoughts, she'll probably sleep on it. if she doesn't tough luck, you did your part of telling her. if you are proved wrong, so be it. you're not the first person to be proved wrong.

Swetha said...

I have told her in the past... to get a yawn and a fake nod in return! I've mentioned how she doesn't take me seriously. Our friendship is about me listening and her rambling. Period.
I don't tell her because I know how its going to end up. Its predictable, like i said. So i would rather stand back and let somebody else bring her back to reality because I've tried and failed.... a million times. And detach myself everytime she pisses me off. Thats the only thing I can do to sustain the little bit thats left of the both of us.

And who the hell says that to their alter ego?? Looks like YOU've had too much jaigermaister :D

V said...

if you've tried a million times, you should just let her do what she wants and not even complain about it.

or i have another idea, why don't you send her a link to this post? that'll solve all problems! *pats his back for such an ingenius idea*

hahahaha, yes, i made a dumb conclusion about the alter ego thing. you signed off the post as "Me" so i thought you were writing a letter to yourself. mistake man! everyone makes it! bleddy naansense x-(

Swetha said...

I always sign off as ME :D

pugsieT said...

im glad my height is nowhere near
5'10...blessing yet curse...cursed blessing..yawn yawn...i kknow its her but it could really be anybody...*flops down cuz of the heat*....anyway..your gonna figure it out...probably already have...'space' is a magic word with awesome results...sometimes a lil too much can also lead to the opposite...handle with care...

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