You know the feeling of warm, jasmine green tea just melting down your throat?

That.

Coupled with my crunchy thigh muscles that are fighting their own battle with my body.

I've got to thank my latest yoga fixation for that. My instructor said Yoga is like a basket of opportunities. I didn't roll my eyes, and what she said actually made sense? The bit about taking whatever suits you best from a Regular yoga practice.

So that morning, when the woman sitting in front of me couldn't reach her toes while bending, I felt a little elated. Twenty minutes later, I couldn't place my hands together on my back. They kept crawling towards one another. It must have looked like some crazy zombie movie to the old woman behind me. Poor thing already has her own issues, you know. She has two chairs, instead of a Yoga mat. With those limbs of hers.

I wonder if I'm my own villain? Whether the constant blocks of chocolate I stuff in my mouth are crying out loud - "Please don't eat me, Again!. Or if my thoughts were to be publically broadcasted, what sort of facial reactions would the harmless man sitting opposite me at work portray?

After my Green tea was over, I ran to the washroom. You see, Peeing means a whole different thing when you're constantly paranoid of hydrating your body.
And then you spend your last conscious moments before you sleep wondering what amount of water retention is reflecting on that bloated face of yours.

My Bathroom Thought Chronicles for another day, then.

"Hey, what's up", said the man with a glass of Coke 

"Um, Nothing", she stutters.

She looks up at him, wondering how to channel her wonderfully intelligent thoughts to sound intelligent.

"You're drinking green tea? Why?" he smirks.

She smiles.

*Say something smart. Impress. IMPRESS.*

"I'm trying to be healthy"

"Arre, why green tea but? It's just water". He points at his glass. "I'm drinking coke even though I know it spoils my teeth. That's because I think Indians are naturally healthy"

"You really think so?", she stresses on the really. She doesn't know why.

He smiles. He's gotten new spectacle frames, so he looks more studious. Unnecessary, she thinks. He's easily the most hard-working person in the office. Sometimes he looks up to notice her reading with torrid attention. And she catches his gaze.

"Well, green is basically hot water, no? It naturally cleanses. And that's a good thing", she says, sounding triumphant but feeling like an idiot.

Captain Obvious could learn a thing or two from me, she thinks.

"I know! It's because you drank last night, no!" he says playfully.

She laughs.

He turns to walk away.

In another universe, she would have walked up to him, thrown away the glass of coke, torn his shirt off, pinned him to a wall and kissed him.

In another universe.

In this universe, she sits in her chair, feeling like a nun.

"You know, something strange is happening."

"What? Are you growing fangs?"

"No. I'm just thinking of you a lot."

"Fuck."

I'm becoming fat again. Rejoice, rejoice. The fat lady's cup runneth over.