Thank you, N

He reminds me of scrappy doo.

Like a little puppy with all the might in the world. He's ticklish near his neck. He gets lost in a car, looking out at the wonderful sights that he is working very hard to process. He'd be happy with the basic four things: Food, sex, sleep and play. Like literally. Give him a ball, or a bat, and one can leave him alone for hours.

Off late i've realized that a lot of posts are about him. It could be for various reasons. a) I never imagined I'd be one to be in a relationship of equals. b) With someone practically 12 days older to me. c) Never thought HE would become my best friend, but he is. d) This is officially the longest I have been with someone.

I want to say he's the love of my life, and/or that I've never felt this way before and that this is for life -- but all of it is cliche.

What I really want to say is that he is my virtual, emotional and physical home. Thank you, universe. 

It's time

Remembering, deleting.
Erasing, re-composing.


Letting go,
Letting in,
building a wall,
whirlpooing.

Words. Words are all I have to be cryptic about. Words are all I have and yet I can't say what's on my mind. Why? Because you'll never get it. I can't say I tried, but I can't say I didn't.

But words are what I want to convey to you. Words are what I want to make you see what you're so conviniently delusional about.

You'll open your eyes someday. Or maybe I hope you will.

My hope may be delusional too, but my feelings are real. I can sleep at night.

It's my battle to fight. It's my heart to protect.

And I have no choice but to let go.

And I have no choice but to erase, because I want to continue sleeping at night.