Are you so strong or is the weakness in me?

1. Do you like chinese food?
Yes, but kill me, but i like Indian chinese better. They have the perfect mix of masalas :D

2. How big is your bed?
Big enough, I guess.

3. Is your room clean?
Not right now. I wish it were, though.

4. Laptop or Desktop computer?
Laptop, only because I want one.

5. Favorite comedian?
NOT russel peters. Stupid Fucker.

6. Do you smoke?
Occasionally.

7. Does anyone like you?
I think so.... (wtf are you supposed to say to that?)

8. Whats the sexiest thing about Condoleeza Rice?
nothing...?

10. Sleep with or without clothes on?
With. It's friggin' winter.

11. Who sleeps with you every night?
A total of 4 pillows.

12. Do long distance relationships work?
Depends, really. It's never about the r'ship but more about the people involved.

13. How many times have you been pulled over by the police?
never!

14. Pancakes or French Toast?
French Toast.

15. Do you like coffee?
addicted.

16. How do you like your eggs?
Poached.

17. Do you believe in astrology?
Never.

18. Last person you talked to on the phone?
Pugsieeeee.

19. Last person on your missed call list?
Weird MH1 woman.

20. What was the last text message you received?
This person. yawn.

21. McDonalds or Burger King?
Burger King!!!!!!!!! OMG! Corn and Chicken Deluxe. I miss :(

22. Number of pillows?
4.

23. Last thing you ate?
Subway.

24. Last thing you bought?
I think Galaxy. Hazelnut.

25. What are you hearing right now?
Scarborough Fair- Simon and Garfunkel

26. Pick a lyric?
"there's so much a man can you, so much he can say. You remain, my power, my pleasure, my pain". Seal- Kiss from a Rose.

27. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich?
Raspberry, ideally. When I'm not watching my weight.

28. Can you play pool?
I've played it once.

29. Do you know how to swim?
Yup. Girl's team captain for 3 years in a row :)

30. Favorite ice cream?
Mint choco chip.

31. Do you like maps?
They're fun, yes.

32. Tell me a random fact.
I think Seal is sexier than Heidi Klum.

33. Ever had a hard on at work?
*lips sealed*

34. Ever attend a theme party?
:( no.

35. Ever do a keg stand?
mm??

36. Craziest place you've slept after a night of drinking?
someone else's bed, i guess.

37. What is your favorite season?
Autumn.

38. What is the first music video you ever saw?
Can't remember. Must be the Backstreet Boys only.

39. Pick a movie quote:
We're the singing dancing crap of the world- Fight club.

40. Favorite quote:
I've loved you like a man loves a woman, Scarlett- Gone with the Wind.

41. What is your favorite hangout?
Currently my "chaupal" in college.

42. Best friend's name?
Zwinkie :D

43. How long have you known them?
4 years.

44. Last time you laughed at something stupid?
All the time!

45. What time did you wake up this morning?
11.30 am

46. Wake up next to anyone?
Hahaha. Right.

47. Best thing about winter?
The artificial warmth :)

48. Name a couple of favorite colors:
Orange and peach.

49. How old are you?
20.

50. What month is your birthday in?
november

51. Do you think pirates are cool or overrated?
I don't care, really.

52. Favorite Dave Matthews Band song (if you have one?)
Without a doubt, Where are you going.

53. What are you doing this weekend?
Going to Pune :D

Because this not right.
Because I don't match upto the scale.
Because the friendship is complimentary.
Because the entire thing could be only due to default.
Because he is fucking annoying sometimes.
Because this phase of my life is about to get over pretty soon.
Because it is futile.
Because I have searched around in the dark before to find nothing.

NO.

You know, one of those days when you get up knowing the day is just going to be wrong.
Firstly, the net is being a big, fat, stinky, whore. Being moody, essentially, and I though only I was allowed to do that. So I call up customer care to complain, and the guy who comes to settle it cannot be less than 70 years old. And, see, I'm the last person to be judgemental, but, he was asking for it. So I blasted him, not him, him, but the entire team and for the inconvenience over this week (what? it has been sucky)

And, also, for some reason, I've developed a massive ego. Plus, I have four days of doing absolutely nothing. I love the free time, and everything, but there's a limit to how much i can read and watch mindless sitcoms on tv. And finally, I thought I had things figured out, and they are fairly under control, just a reality check in the morning has worked for me: made me more piss-y.

Great, I sound like a mindless bimbo.

Well, on the bright side, I got a haircut. Err, not so much a compensation, really.

• Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black out.
• I believe in a long, prolonged, derangement of the senses in order to obtain the unknown.
• Some of the worst mistakes of my life have been haircuts
• Where's your will to be weird?

p.s- drool drool. love me two times, baby :D

"Mama, life has just begun
and now I've gone and thrown it all away."

I think I'm inspired by too many things. Freddy Mercury and Bohemian Rhapsody will always make me teary eyed.

I wish I could show.
I wish I could venture.
I know sometimes, I am all talk and whine and no action,
But I'm frightened.
I'm allowed to be, right?
I can't take the risk, The failure will cut me into pieces.

So here I am.
Burying this want. Just...
for future references, I should know
HOW much I wanted to do this.
How much I wanted to be a part of the fantastic lineage.
How much I wanted to prove myself.

But I am taking a back step. I've made the decision. It's the pragmatic one. There.

Not that I'm a thorough-bred critic of anything (don't get me wrong, I can get extremely critical when I have to), especially films, music, fiction or literature and theatre- I personally am all for them as means of entertainment/inspiration first and intellectuall stimulation later, hence criticising for being to normal, or too "popular" is in my eyes very unjust and something extremely specific and elitest... but, I have i question nonetheless:

Why is it that only movies made on the predicament of the so-called urban Indian society become famous and "represent" (note how I am not using the term loosely) the "flavour"of India in the western paradigm? Am I wrong in presuming that Slumdog Millionaire has gained popularity in the US only because a) the orient is exotic, and India is now at the centre of the orient, totally ignoring it's economical at-par-with-the-US, if you will, development. And b) because it represents the slum of Mumbai and the boy's success becomes a symbol of the success of the Indiam slum, which btw is also something "intriguing and exotic" for the westerners.

I could be wrong. I am myself an embodiment of the growing, urban, globalised youth, dependant on a lifestyle that is nothing close to an ideal Indian lifestyle. But I have been noticing that every movie that gains popularity with the west has something to do with the stereotypical image of India. I haven't seen Slumdog Millionaire, and let me clarify, I'm sure it is a decent movie, infact I am tempted to go watch it without a critical approach, but I can't help but bring forth this sudden realisation. If I'm not wrong, it deals with a boy from the slums, and has undertones of the BPO style of living- an image that slowly started to define Indian youth. I am yet to find one movie/book that gained popularity among the west because of it's plot, storyline in universality , and not something that is distinctively Indian: seen with Shantaram, Slumdog Millionaire and the lot.

I may be wrong, but this is just something I noticed. I need to go watch the movie before I can further comment. To clarify, I am sure the movie is brilliant, and I personally loved Shantaram, I just hate to see it getting popular only by virtue of it being innately "Indian" hence exotic.

P.s- Edward Said, you have screwed me up.

1. Exam tomorrow. Freaking out. Don't think I'll remember anything.
2. I hate these mo-fo boys who haven't learnt how to grow up yet, and don't know how to deal with a girl, and more so because the complication makes you stay back because you don't want to let go of the connection.
3. Think i'm putting on weight :(
4. Woke up to the news of three deaths today morning.

Sigh. Bad bad bad bad day.

Oh, do not ask, “What is it?”
Let us go and make our visit.- Prufrock said. (Eliot- The Love Song of Alfred J. Prufrock)

I read the poem made me cry yesterday. It has too many similarities with my growing out of adolescent crisis. You know how sometimes you find it hard to explain what is going on in your mind and find a piece of prose or poetry that defines that unarticulated thought? Prufrock's inarticulation is so symbolic of my thought processes that he didn't need to speak it out. His quest for articulation, his self conciousness, his self disgust said in many incoherant words what I have been trying to say to the world for the longest time.

He talks about passing time, and his inabilites. The pessimism in the poem attached with symbolic images is so beautiful, it makes you forget that the distinct emotion here is negativity. It focuses on the inner recessions of the character Prufrock's mind, without wandering about the outside realities, or complexities, if you will, because his fragmented self/ mind is complex enough.

I am rather over-whelmed here. No words; speechless. Only this time, Eliot has ensured that can be rather acceptable, only because he turned this emotion into beautiful poetry.

"I know the voices dying with a dying fall
Beneath the music from a farther room.
So how should I presume?"

Aah, beautiful, beautiful inarticulation. Beautiful complexities. (I don't know if that is an oxymoron)

...and for my most favorite part of the poem. The part that made me cry.

"No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two,
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
Deferential, glad to be of use,
Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous—
Almost, at times, the Fool."

I thought I'd skip a post new year entry and move straight to the main reason behind this blog: venting. But then, have you ever noticed how not conforming has suddenly become a trend in its own? And we all know the deal behind trends- ahem, conformism. I could easily pen down why this new years eve sucked, and as usual how I am wasting precious time of my life, doing absolutely nothing, and how nothing is coming my way, and how that is effecting my thought processes and self esteem, but. I don't think I will this time. I've had enough of those.

I've decided, enough of whining. Look I'm not writing a "resolution post" either. There is still some non-conformist blood left in me. In anycase, most of my whining is immaterial. I do it because there is no other option. It's not like good things haven't happened this year. It's not like it's been the best year either. But I had fun. So I'm not jotting down the points of why this year was good or bad, but I'm going to put up pictures. And let them speak for themselves. Because actions speak louder than words, like we all know. So here's to my last year in college- which is truly so much more than that- entailing every experience that I went through. I couldn't have asked for a better live-through. And as for the short-comings or the 'never'-comings :). I'm working on making them shift to the "been there, done that" section of my life's chapters.