I'm a fat lump of lard. That's what I am. And I should just shoot myself.

I miss you, my little love bun. All bright and shiny and supportive.
You were all always the radiant light I needed to maintain sanity - burst of positivity and my regular dose of "S focus! Don't do that" or "You must do this" but the occasional "It's okay if you've done that"

With all our deconstructing conversations late into the night, owning up to guilty pleasures, the secrets (or just random bits of conversation) that I would never intimately discuss with anybody so meticulously. The analysis of everything under the sun.

I'm sorry. I know I musn't let my guard down. I just miss you too much today.

When she said it, you knew it made sense to you. Maybe in the larger scheme of things, this period won't matter much, maybe you'll breeze through it. But in order to breeze through, you'll have to pretend it doesn't effect you.

And it's not like pretending is an alien concept to you.

Fall back on your padded mattresses, with flowery bedsheets that you can literally smell, but make sure you get used to sleeping on the hard cold floor simultaneously.

You're a big girl now.

This is NOT good. Must have a positive outlook to things that happen with me. Must try to do make the most out out any situation put forth in front of me and try not to crib incessantly, even though that comes naturally to me.

Life shifts happen all the time. If we don't learn to adapt to new circumstances than how will we grow? I'm 22, I need to act my age and do what people my age are doing i.e- making a career (even if that means in a new city, amongst new people, and no social life...yet)

Most importantly, must not be dependent on anyone. I'm old enough to survive by myself, and I must stop measuring happiness on the presence of other people in my life (even though they have a role to play)

Must stop acting like a retard and grow up. There are other people with bigger problems than yours. Suck it up and enjoy whatever's being thrown at you.