Pms-ing.

Bad, sulky mood.

Have put on weight due to diwali.

Am not taking that too well.

Am downright depressed.

Want my jawline-y, over the top hot self back.

Wms not going too well. (western music society)

Pictures not coming out too well.

Stay away.. I bite.

Yeah, yeah, Happy diwali to you all. Let me move on to more exciting stuff. Okay I have too many things to say, so I'm going to bullet point.

• Illumination: So every year, my colony has this rangoli making competition which according to me, is the prettiest thing I've seen my entire life. It's not your usual simple rangoli, we have 4 blocks and each comes up with themes and then contests. But the spirit of it all reflects it when in the evening the entire colony is lit with candles and there's colour everywhere, there are rangoli forms of every god, you can't not feel connected to your roots. The entire day we spend making our respective blocks look aesthetically pleasing and in the evening we dress up, wish everyone a Happy diwali and move on to sit at home and spend time with family. And, there's a reason why the above lines are cliched :D
• Sweets on diwali: I hate sweets. Period. And nothing anybody will say, can convince me to try any of the ghee loaded instruments of cholestrol and obesity. So I had my own diwali sweet equivalent yesterday. I treated myself to my most favorite ice-cream flavour in the entire world- Mint chocolate chip from Baskin and Robbins. Plus, I'm not the "happy diwali" kinda person, far away from being religious... but no matter how indifferent I get, I like the feel of diwali. It feels peaceful and positive.... and that is something, coming from me.
• Small snippets: My sister called me from the US and she said she saw some pictures of me and I've lost "oodles" of weight. These sisters, I tell you :D you're going on perfectly fine, trying to silence your narcissistic side when along comes sister and a rarely seen one, at that, and makes you feel fucking fantastic. And this is a good time for me. This one song has done wonders for me, for some reason. I have evolved. I wouldnt recommend anyone to try it for the reasons I listened to it in the first place, because it's not an inspirational song, but it was personally for me a eureka moment. Try it though, it's fun. Franz Ferdinand- Take me out.

Anyway, on that note... a rather lovely ones at that :) i must remind you that the crackers you burn are at the cost fo young boys' lives. So think before you burn them.. almost makes you a saddist.

Happy diwali!

I just finished watching se7en. I've been catching up on all the movies that I was meant to watch in the dusshera break because I fell ill then, and I've been watching some fantastic movies, at that :D

Anyway, so se7en is about the seven deadly sins, now its a good movie and everything, quite a thinker, but more than that, I was intrigued during the groundwork i was doing for the "before movie" watching.. ( I do that before watching any movie). I was on a wikipedia seach for Dante. I couldnt find any of his works online, but reading up about him, and everything got me thinking. I was discussing this with Best Friend yesterday, although the concept of courtly love is largely patriachal, I'd love to be on the receiving end of it. Ofcourse, speaking in strictly selfish terms, I'd have to aristocratic and the man preferably a knight. And I don't want to replay the "knight in shingin armour thing", just the poetry/sonnet dedication. Like Dante did for Beatrice and Petrarch for Laura.

We did Sidney's "star crossed" love poetry last year in my course. I think I was the only one who understood the deepness of it, and didn't brand it as cliched. See, now Spenser was cliched and a fucking MCP. But Sidney, I think, took advantage of the woman's silence, didn't deliberately silence her... ? Okay, I know, the bunch of them... all men in the 14 th century were patriarchs, but imagine the hotness :D I'd love to have someone recite to me, poetry that was written to worship me, it's my ultimate "heart melting" secret.

I came to a very satisfying conclusion a few days ago, about my torturing self questioning. I realized that i'm wasting my time cribbing over something that eventual and inevitable.. only not coming fast enough. So I've realized that I've got to make the most fo the 3 months I have, before I graduate :(

{I'm not letting myself think about it, I don't want to be a fucking adult, or drive or legally be able to drink. I would rather remain a kid}

See, now, had I been in the 14th century, I'd have been married by now. That sucks.

"Crazy, how it, feels tonight.
Crazy, how you, make it all alright love.
You crush me, with the, things you do
,I do, for you, anything too oh.
Sitting, smoking, feeling high.
And in this, moment, ah, it feels so right.
Lovely lady, I am at your feet,
oh, God I want you so badly.
And I wonder this could tomorrow be so wondrous as you there sleeping.
Lets go, drive til, the morning comes.
And watch the, sunrise, and fill our souls up.
Well drink some, wine till, we get drunk, yes...
It's crazy, I'm thinking, just knowing that the world is round.
I'm here I'm dancing on the ground.
Am I right side up or upside down, and is this real, or am I dreaming?
Lovely lady, let me drink you, please, I wont spill a, drop no, I promise you.
Lying under this spell you cast on me.
Each moment the more, I, love, you.
Crush me, come on.
Oh, yes.
It's crazy, I'm thinking, just knowing that the world is round.
I'm here I'm dancing on the ground.
Am I right side up or upside down?
Is this real, oh lord, or am I dreaming?
Lovely lady, I will treat you sweetly, adore you, I mean, you crush me.
Oh its times like these when my faith I feel.
I know, how, I, love, you. come on, come on, baby.
It's crazy, I'm thinking just as long as you're around.
I'm here I'll be dancing on the ground.
Am I right side up or upside down? To each other, we'll be facing.
My love, my love, we'll beat back the pain we've found.
You know, I mean to tell you all the things I've been thinking, deep inside my friend.
With each moment the more I love you.
Crush me, come on, baby.
So much you have, given love, that I would give you back again and again.
Oh, the love, many now hold you but please, please, just let me, always"

Sigh. I have my answer.
Crush- Dave Matthews Band.
Its like therapy, this song. I know now. I just know.