Pink Bullets- The Shins.

I've been listening to this song on repeat for four days now.
It's the kind of song that every once in a while, shakes you up, makes you teary-eyed only because it overwhelms you.
The melody, the lyrics. They all fit. It ascends and descends leaving you wanting more, yet content in a spooky way.
Sigh. This makes me feel alive. Not in an upbeat way, but in a "this is what I live for" way.


I was just bony hands as cold as a winter pole
you held a warm stone out new flowing blood to hold
oh what a contrast you were
to the brutes in the halls
my timid young fingers held a decent animal.

Over the ramparts you tossed
the scent of your skin and some foreign flowers
tied to a brick
sweet as a song
the years have been short but the days were long.

Cool of a temperate breeze from dark skies to wet grass
we fell in a field it seems now a thousand summers passed
when our kite lines first crossed
we tied them into knots
and to finally fly apart
we had to cut them off.

Since then it's been a book you read in reverse
you understand less as the pages turn
or a movie so crass
and awkardly cast
that even I could be the star.

Prologue:
After many (oh many, many) moments of being miserable, helpless and all that jazz.. I realized this is short lived. So I decided to be positive about it, rather than cribbing or whining. Stuff happens. Meh. {stuff: startling realization. startling in a bad way}
(Having said that, this doesn't mean I won't be mopping around. I still will, but it is commendable that I have a optimistic approach to it, right?)


Why fight for an Inspiration?
I'm pouring myself a cup of fate,
And waiting for it to cool..
So I can drink into a blissful oblivion.

Why define? Conform or Decide?
I'd rather dismiss and smile,
Being perfecting content,
With the flaws, the questions,
The supposed: taken-a-wild-shot-at kind of answers.

Why question?
I'm stitching myself a vision,
and an additional pacification,
Using colours, prints and faith.
If you look close enough,
It will say:
"Hello there. This is me. The End"



Epilogue:
Hey. Atleast I try.

I sort of saw this coming.
Evolution, much?

I was reading through my old posts and I realised I could have written every one of them better. The flinching, though, was uncalled for.

They're right. He has no positive presence. I begin to doubt myself after I stick around him too much. I take myself too seriously, and invariably end up being hard on myself. I have to stop being someone else.

I am me: And this statement has never made more sense to me than now.

I've had enough of self-analysis for a while now. This should serve as a requisite reminder.

As the saying goes.. blame it on the rain.

Nobody woul relate me with a gooey, cheesy mood. And I'm not talking romantic in the popular fiction sense. I'm talking romantic in the nature loving, inspirational, ideal sense.

I would love to be in some unexplored place, around 6 in the evening.. so it's not too dark, but there's no hint of sunlight. Heavy rainfall. A Black umbrella and I set off for a loooong walk. I settle down bellow this tree (let's just presume it saves me from getting drenched... not that I wouldn't want to, but I have a camera, so). I have some music playing in the background, (some Creedence Clearwater Revival, Mozart, Beatles, Farida Khanum, Jagjit Singh, Damien Rice, Coldplay and ofcourse, Dave Matthews Band, and I should be set), and I just sit and enjoy the nature.

I would write. I would sing. I would rejoice.

"Or am I dreaming? Lovely Lady.. Let me drink you, pleeease?"

Take pictures of each droplet. Take pictures of the natural greenery. Of the trees swaying, as if they sway to every note of music. Capture every moment of melody.

The Rain.

It's enchanting. Magical. Who would think a couple of droplets of water from the sky could transport you into a different world and make you unperturbed about your changed romantic self.

If only I could do the aforementioned. Instead, I set out with my camera and my umbrella and took a few pictures of around here and there. The feeling of the rain on my feet, on my back, was exhilarating nonetheless.

What a day :)