OMG!!

Okay... *breathe*

So, in today's American Idol show, Archuletta sang Stand by me and Love me tender. Cheesy again, but he always strikes the chordm =) Im starting to fall for him.. even though he's only 17... just 17 imagine =)

Here's the interesting part. So last year, around october-november... we (my choir in college) were told that a few pakistani college students were coming so we needed a couple of new songs to perform for them. We racked our brains, and Stand by me is our all time favorite, but It had gotten very corny by then, so we decided to jazz it up a little bit.
I come up with a medley. Okay, only a true musician would know this. You know how you're singing a song, in the right notes, and suddenly in the flow of it, another song totally fits.... melody, harmony, tempo et al ?? If you try carefully, Stand by me and Beautiful girls by Sean Kingston go perfectly together.
So i suggested this to the others, and they really liked the idea... But unfortunately, it didn't work out. It got too slow, and we didn't have time to make it sound like.. beautifully right. So I forgot about it. But I remember how everybody told me that It was a brilliant mix and that we should really try doing it next year and stuff. Also how nobody had ever thought of it before... blah blah. It was a good night.

Here's the freaky part. DAVID ARCHULETTA, best vocals in American Idol, I must add, sang Stand by me today... and towards the end of the song, INCLUDED BEAUTIFUL GIRLS ka one part in it :) :) I was stunned, needless to say. I had to share this with someone!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Unfortunately, nobody from my choir's in town, and none of my other friends would relate to this miraculous discovery.
YEAH! I feel gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooddd :D

Saw Iron Man today. Its really good. Like a perfect mix of Spiderman and Bond. Totally worth getting out in the sun. Other than my abso-fantastically amazing discovery, no other highlight. Pugsie and Strawberry's Bday coming up.
Decided to not discuss Magnetron at all. He's not significant. Really.

Sigh, Archuletta and me. We have a connection :D

Don't stay, Don't go either.
Don't do anything... just be around.
Stay, that's all I'd want from you.

You're no more than a temporary want.
Albeit a very desirable one.
I'm not confused or messed up.
I'm just not clear on certain things.

You could go If you want.
Leave nothing behind.
Only go, If you're sure you'll never be back.


Okay, I don't write beautifully. But a few lines are enough to express. So Im not going to get embarrassed and not publish that. I wrote it impromptu and I want it to remain. I'm not looking for feedback, this doesn't classify as anything but a vent. Bleh. I realllly like David Archuletta from American Idol, there's something very inspiring about his voice. He's kind of corny, I know, and I prefer David Cook, and I'd want him to win, But Archuletta has the best vocals I've ever heard, hands down.

Anyway, Best friend came over yesterday. We took some very funny videos.... I don't think there's anyone who we've not poked fun at. My thighs are aching.... the pain is excruciating :( I started working out yesterday, and I knew this was going to happen.. Sigh I guess Its just the wrong time of the month. No reason for this crankiness. Im actually in an okay mood. Just being cranky aise hi.

I've realised that I've become much more comfortable with the way I look. Its nothing to do with my weight loss, but there are many pictures and videos that I took yesterday which made me look positively like a PIG, but It didn't really matter to me after a point. So thats progress I guess. I've realised after reading a few of my previous posts, that I was very confused about my sense of self, it wavered from time to time. Though now, I dont think I could chalk out specipfic adjectives, I'm sure about what I'm about.

Acha, this post is getting too pep-talk-ish for me to handle. I think i just need a vacation. Im waiting for end of this month, when I'll be off. I love Delhi, but I need to go away for sometime to recognise its worth.

One question- what kind of a feeling is it, to want to ONLY talk to that person, not bothering about what they do in their lives otherwise.. with absolutely no feeling of jealousy, or interest in what they do or say to other people, as long as I get to talk to them? Hating them on the extreme, and missing them everytime you hear or see somethin approriate.. and not being able to resist talking to them when you see them online, or when you recieve an SMS from them, inspite of knowing its a fucking dead end??

Okay that's a long question. I'm sure you get what I mean though. Please enlighten.

Ok's new post and what I told pugsie, has got me thinking. I realised that till about a few months ago, I'd whine my ass off to anyone who'd listen about my depressing single status. Somewhere it was putting an effect on my self-esteem. Infact, more than being single, it was the horror of not having a crush on someone or finding someone desirable. I kept coming to conclusions. The first thing I thought was that I needed mind games, so I'd be able to convince myself that I'm capable of intelligent flirting.

Disaster. I picked someone who was a non-conformist and a total opposite of the guys I had been with in the past. All we had was a wit battle, where either he'd give up or have the perpetual smirk(through his words). It would make me feel either inconsequential, which I always was btw, or inferior, which i wasn't. Eventually I realised that he was not interested. He only decided to talk to me because I was giving him an Ego boost, which is what I wanted in the first place but that didnt work out. I can totally see through him now though.

Then I decided that I can't handle any of it. Bogus conclusion actually, because it drove me to the I-think-I-deserve-just-a-fling side. What happened then? Two weeks of a fast paced flirt-a-ton later, I realised that it was just a result of an erection, with reference to the guy in question. Pugsie, strawberry and best friend made me realise that I am a relationship person. And I'm kind not really in the mood for a relationship.

So last night I came to a conclusion. What I want is an improved version of what happened btw me and Magnetron. Its hard to find a guy who's not interested in ONLY the physical but isn't really looking to getting married. I've only met guys who belong to either categories. The rest are friends. So I've stopped trying really. An episode of seinfeld made me realise that I'm actually looking for an extension of me. I'm sick and tired of listing down the qualities. It becoming a cliche only. And very very repititive and predictable.

So I'm going to stop noting down qualities, because I don't believe in the concept of soulmates. I'm quite happy with how things are going. I have a goal, and a fairly amazing life. When and if I do find someone who's worth the relationship, I'll make it work. NO pre-requisite qualities. Yes, I want to date, Im ready to date, but Im not ready for a relationship. I don't think there's anyone I know who's worth a relationship. When I do find the one who is, I'll make it last as long as its possible.

Although, I cannot date someone who says "anywayS"
Or who listens to hip-hop.
But we'll need another post for that.

Sigh. This is why I'm still single.

Suddenly, for some strange reason only known to god, It has become unbearingly hot. I can't stand it. S, A and I decided we needed a movie and the only decent one around was "Horton finds a who". Its really cute, I must admitt but the heat really took a toll on us. I couldn't have been happier to get back home.

Okay, I've realised Im not really that fond of hugs. Its a weird thing actually. I like being held (thats one sided, mostly from the opposite sex) and I'm oking with hugging anyone who comes up to me and greets me with a hug, but thats about it. I don't long for hugs when Im depressed (pugsie, its okay for you to :) and Im not really someone who'll express their love and affection for anybody else through extremely explicit physical gestures or words. When i have to, I don't care if it comes out to sound cliched and cheesy, but not always, occasionally maybe. It irritates me to see people do it all the freakin' time. With me, people know I mean it, when I say it.

I've just been reading and watching movies. And working on birthday presents. I'm broke and cranky because of the heat, although I have a pretty full vacation planned. Plus Best Friend is coming on Monday, so thats something to look forward to :D

Pugsie- Let go.... you know Im right. It'll be fine.
Best friend- Start blogging again!
Dance baby- Stop dreaming of Garlic Bread (?)
Magnetron- I hate you and your cockiness. And Im trying really hard to stop. Like just STOP.
Strawberry- Have a wonderful nap :D
Other readers- Don't judge. Its just a hot day.

*jams fist into keyboard yet again*
*doesn't break, and she's unaffected*
*goes to watch some more TV*